Self-Care As A Queer Muslim In America

 
 
I listen to pop music because I’m tired of being sad.
I unintentionally match outfits with my trans therapist.
 
When I am angry I think in Turkish.
I read poems by trans people to feel better.
 
I’m afraid of paradise. I think about how
people can die of an enlarged heart.
 
I’m realizing that I’m obsessed with moving forward.
I want to make sure I have enough time.
 
I imagine liberation for everyone who needs it
& consequences for those who prevent it.
 
I look at the sun setting over the lake
to push out the moon & think of moonmoons
 
because who wouldn’t want a small moon
orbiting around them constantly?
 
I search for jobs that don’t cause me pain.
I remember that I am good enough.
 
I hold one handle of the shopping bag
& my brother grabs the other to help me.
 
We walk to share the burden
of the weight.
 
 
 
 

beyza ozer is a queer/trans/Muslim writer, editor, and artist. beyza's work has appeared in and is forthcoming from The Offing, Vinyl, and the anthologies Subject To Change: Trans Poetry and Conversation (Sibling Rivalry 2017) and Halal If You Hear Me (Haymarket 2019). beyza is the author of FAIL BETTER (Fog Machine 2017) and they are a recipient of the Windy City Times 30 Under 30 Award. beyza is Social Media Coordinator of YesYes Books and Social Media Manager of Belt Magazine. They serve as Manuscript Editor of Critical Inquiry in Chicago where they live with their partner and cat.