It was a nightmare in which disembodied girls spoke in
imaginary voices. They said, “It is winter everywhere inside
you,” then disappeared into the starcharts.
When the nurse took my pulse, she gave me a vial of ether
and a vial of honey then adjusted the roots of my gown.
I said neocortex then stroked the pony.
Shivering girls with cutting disorders were transfigured into
kings. We held a vigil for rust, a vigil for rocks and a vigil
When I scattered my clothes on the roof of the stable, I
smashed the honey vial and one thousand landscapes of bees
swarmed above me.
When I smashed the vile of ether, I was resurrected into a
landscape of animal tracks and goose feathers. Live moths
were stitched into my crown.
Either I collapsed to the floor of my inner visions, or I was
reciting the names of birds. I said, my scars are a cemetery
of self abuse or else they are the ghosts of past
When I was performing my most daring knife trick, a blade
of jasmine formed a sequin of blood. Then I’d wake up
screaming of the violence of kitchens and vomiting between
Now, when I can’t sleep, I count myself with the stars. Or I
move among the stables saying i can see every miracle.
Then I lie still until my animal body forms.