we watched

Midge and I

Ken asleep

as usual

we saw when he

came in so pale

a giant man

at almost dawn

the sky gray slate

before the sun

there you were

the one he wanted

there he stood

a wanting one

a wanting and

a blinding ache

that made him take

his glasses off

he took them off

from his face

it made him swell

in different ways

it made him swell

and we could see

we saw we watched

it made us want 

to squint our eyes

and shrink inside 

but eyes don’t shut

they stay this wide 

and size is not

an option here

he’d start himself

like my DreamCar 

or like a top

a cord to pull 

to spin let go

he’d start and then 

and then and then

we watched his weight 

we watched you stiffen

you stiff and straight

like you were dead

stiff like a board 

your hand stuck out

to hold the nightstand

to stop your head

against the wall 

to stop the rocking

of the movement 

of his weight

a rocking force 

stiff as a board

you rocked 

a horse he rode

and waited for him 

to stop his weight

on top

you held the stand

until he stopped

you dropped

your hand slipped back to bed

as if asleep

we watched him clean

and fixing himself

his frames back on

his face at ease

the wanting gone

his breathing calm

and slow again