A secret game! Our dangerous game!
We are devious children. You are pink
and sweet, kid brother–glass ballerina
in a snow globe. Does Daddy clap
when you curtsy? I am wearing
a football jersey.
You are dressed in my Christmas frock.
How dull its ruffles, useless as bubbles
in bathwater. I am buckling my
GI Joe’s helmet.
You are nursing my Kewpie.
It is confusing. A goose is a goose,
isn’t good for the gander.
Daddy has taken his duck decoys
hunting. When he gets home,
I will bathe them. I love
to go hunting with Daddy, but I hate
killing. The wetlands console me–
a flat, stinking afterlife.
I want to spray buckshot
through a sky as blue
as my eyes. I want Daddy
to look up, and notice.
Kid, let’s play musical chairs.
Once the music stops playing,
who is left standing? A son
or a daughter? If we pick wrong,
Daddy won’t love us. Pin the Tail
on the Donkey. Let’s spin
‘til we fall. Untie my blindfold. Look!
You have a penis,
while I have none. Does Daddy see us,
carved in marble–his two, beautiful goddesses?
Kid, you can’t catch a ball. You can’t split
a lip. You don’t know where he hides his
vodka. Daddy never wanted two
daughters. I never tried to be the son
he wanted. I didn’t ask him
to carry my picture in his wallet.
Where is your picture? Is that why
you wound me? If I am the son
he always wanted, why does
he wound me? Why does he call me his
rattlesnake daughter? Did you hear him say
no man will marry me?
Answer me, gentle boy
at the bus stop, noosed in a necktie,
lugging a briefcase, to look like
your Daddy. What is your name?
Gnome banker, Gnome banker. Our Daddy
mocked you. He wanted a line-backer
like his daughter. Tiny dancer,
I will protect you. From Daddy’s
cruel words. From your third-grade
teacher who slapped you, dear sweetheart,
for kissing a boy. From being the son
that Daddy wanted. Let’s play
musical chairs, musical queers. Who
is left standing? This chair is yours,
my beloved. It is confusing. A goose
is a goose, isn’t good for the gander.

Ann Chinnis has been an Emergency Physician for 40 years and a healthcare leadership coach. She studies at The Writers Studio Master Class under Philip Schultz. Her poetry has been published in The Speckled Trout Review, Drunk Monkeys, Around the World: Landscapes & Cityscapes, Mocking Owl Roost, Sky Island Journal, Sheila-Na-Gig and Nostos, among others. Her first chapbook Poppet, My Poppet was recently published by Finishing Line Press. Ann lives with her wife in Virginia.