I listen to pop music because I’m tired of being sad.
I unintentionally match outfits with my trans therapist.
When I am angry I think in Turkish.
I read poems by trans people to feel better.
I’m afraid of paradise. I think about how
people can die of an enlarged heart.
I’m realizing that I’m obsessed with moving forward.
I want to make sure I have enough time.
I imagine liberation for everyone who needs it
& consequences for those who prevent it.
I look at the sun setting over the lake
to push out the moon & think of moonmoons
because who wouldn’t want a small moon
orbiting around them constantly?
I search for jobs that don’t cause me pain.
I remember that I am good enough.
I hold one handle of the shopping bag
& my brother grabs the other to help me.
We walk to share the burden
of the weight.