i wanted to feed my heart to the birds
but i heard if you feed a bird the wrong thing
it’ll explode.
                      what if my heart is the wrong thing?
 
what if my heart is the trick
of an eye? the stripper’s chainsaw grin? the xanax addict’s plagiarized laugh? the booster’s adrenaline-rushed? what if my heart is that? what if my heart is a voicemail erased by accident? what if my heart erased the voicemail? what if the voicemail wasn’t even for my heart to begin with? what if my heart is feathers but they’re blood kissed? what if my heart is a walkman someone broke in 8th grade? what if i still have all the cds for it? what if some songs still play if you hit it against something sharp? what if my heart is renisha mcbride’s knock? what if my heart’s “help” is answered
in death? what if my heart is the weed they claimed was in sandra bland’s system? what if my heart never really existed? what if my heart is sandra bland? what if my heart does not exist anymore? what if my heart is the crossroads bone-thugs-n-harmony crooned over? would you meet me there? why did they take his uncle charles y’all? what if my heart is uncle charles y’all? what if my heart is the projects? what if everyone here is secretly trying to get out? what if the ones who stay are the ones they say did not know
any better? what if my heart is cleveland ohio september 2015? what if my heart is 43 murderers in one month? what if my heart is what a 3-year-old boy named major will never have but deserves? what if my heart is a chance to grow up? what if my heart is afraid to take chances? because it knows those who might have lost them? what if my heart knows what it is capable of? what if my heart can’t tell the difference between humans and the birds? what if my heart knows the difference
but no longer cares?